When I got hired on at Cracker Barrel, I was disappointed because the last thing I wanted to do was wait tables again. I knew that it was hard work and that the hours weren't great and the pay hardly worth it. To be completely honest, I haven't made nearly as much as I've wanted to, but I've made what I've needed to - enough to pay almost all of my bills off and enough to be able to afford what Mikayla needs. I've also met some great, Christian people that have become good friends.
Back to my point: I have been taking God's provision for granted. I have been getting impatient with Him. It's true that I am still short of being able to buy a car and it's true that I'm nowhere near being able to afford for Mikayla and I to live on our own, but I know that He will provide all in His timing. Just when I think I'm being as patient as I can be, He says, "Nope, now you have to wait on this."
Patience has NEVER been my strong suit. I hate that I'm like that, but I'm working on it, with God's help, one day at a time. I have noticed that I'm getting better with it. One night back in April, I just let go. I cried and pled with God to just help me because I just couldn't do it anymore. I was frustrated and hurting. I felt a little nudging in my heart and I finally realized that I had been a control freak and I just needed to let go.
Even though I still get impatient sometimes, all it takes is a little prayer and a good cry (haha) and I feel so much better. I'm still struggling with some anger and hurt because of my past, which ties into being impatient, but I know that God will help me through everything.
Also, my train of though isn't completely coherent, so I apologize for the randomness of the stories and whatnot.
:)
xoxo,
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